Daniella,
Do you honestly know how the guys truly feel after you visit them? whether its the very first visit, or 20th, do you ask them after every session to genuinely know if you are in-fact playing with their emotions? Im pretty confident you haven't or else some of those guys would be hurt by the truth and find another attendant that can potentially be the 'one'. You know the saying love at first sight? that actually happens to some people, especially vulnerable people in vulnerable situations in moments, or just life in general makes them vulnerable to due family issues, death occurring etc.. You can't truly say that you don't BS clients if you never truly asked them or tried to understand the situations they could be in which could result in them falling head over heels for you even though you didnt... But still you have to then consider even if they accept that, they could tell you a lie and want to keep seeing you even knowing they never will have you to themselves.. men get whipped very easily by Very attractive woman such as yourself. You have to consider who is really being used then at that point the guys or you if the guy would lie to your face saying he doesn't love you back but keeps seeing you otherwise. All for a dollar and a business transaction which I'm sure you believe isn't everything in life, 'good ones' know money isn't everything especially if you claim you are in fact a good one. I am moving target to be used for what I have and it sucks, Id rather be broke knowing what some people in this world do for a dollar and how that could affect me. It has happened to me before where I've been used for what I have, but because I'm only 23 I haven't been in the position yet to find a woman to marry, not knowing they are out for what I have. That would probably ruin me if that would happen to be honest. Learning from other peoples experiences its a good idea to stay far away from the gun range instead of trying to dodge bullets.
I can't comment if you have or haven't seen him or not, but you should tell Ursus the truth and how you really feel about him so he doesn't have to believe he is in love with you and yearning for a love that will never exist. Ursus believes you are the apple of his eye, and it sounds like he loves you more then his wife. he wouldn't be seeing other woman if he truly loved his wife and she was the apple of his eye. Give the dude a break then and tell it how it is to him.
I know you work hard and it is a physically demanding job. But you know there are many ways to earn a living in this world. Im sure if since you are claiming to be a 'good one'. You could easily use the 'good' gifts you have and work towards something where you don't have to live a double life and lie to people, or use lies to work hard. I know you have to make lies for your safety which is fine since Im well aware some guys loose their minds over woman and it doesn't end well if they don't get their way.. Some lies are forgivable others aren't, anyone agree with me on that at least.
I can guarantee you that you won't ever have the chance to have your heart broken ever again. You'd work a-lot less harder then you are and have to not try to find a solution to something which is impossible to find. See great people in this world like Bill Gates and all of these people that society calls great, sure some of them have greater gifts then most, but a lot of them simply started to question to make things happen, and say to themselves they don't need anyone or anything to determine their world success and have the potential of the world riches be taken from them since people in are unreliable, I have been in the past. Working on changing that. They realize this and then begin to let money work for them instead of them working for money. Money doesn't have to be an enemy but a friend if you know how to work it properly and guide it in the right direction. It would pay you back tenfold compared to what you are earning there... I guarantee that.
I quote from you: "So I need someone to explain me how to separated feelings and fantasy Because after almost 4 years working in the spa , I still haven't learned it".
There isn't a solution to this and what you are trying to find with that is like chasing after the wind. You'll never catch it Daniella. When Man and Woman come together intimately, and connect themselves to each other through what happens at the premier chain (in most cases). Both those people for a time become one person. That initial bond doesn't simply end after the session, but it stays with them in their hearts, mind and soul, not physically after since that ended after the session and most people take a shower after. Since I know based on the evidence provided on the forum that your services are very open minded, as open minded as they can be without getting into any weird things people for some reason enjoy spending the time doing. You are going to that next level of intimacy where its the highest level you can be doing it with another person. True intimacy is a great and beautiful thing, you shouldn't have to make it a job, you should truly cherish that. Since that passion, intimacy, connectedness travels with you after on other levels mentioned, thats why you will never be able to separate feelings and fantasy.
You should help yourself and not live in constant turmoil knowing that a client you see could be that one guy to sweep you off your feet. The chances of that happening are slim because the guy has to first know himself truthfully to make it happen. many men that partake in this game aren't truthful at all.
Well Daniella if we would ever cross paths I just say it how it is, I'm not the type to beat around the bush. If you'd say the comment you said earlier the exact same response would have come out from me. You thought for Freshy 1, you shouldn't since you aren't fully in control of his mind, he is.
If the chance does come I wouldn't even mind getting to know you due to just being curious as to whether or not you are in fact a 'good one' and what you are saying is true. Its obvious at this point from the history of this forum that people can be completely different behind a computer screen, You could put me to the test if you'd like, thats up to you.
I myself am looking for that 'good one' and open to options and you are right when you say love can be found in any where you are correct, I've been a hopeless romantic for a very long time and kinda not down for that anymore knowing full well I know what I'm saying is true and if people want to listen they'd soon understand why. then my example would speak after. Im sure a 'good girl' would enjoy my company and wouldn't need nothing but only me, through thick and thin, even if the world comes crashing down.
I don't want you to believe for one instance that what I've said and have been saying implies I hate Woman who partake in this practice, or think less of them than myself and try making the good ones look bad... what I'm saying is making the bad ones look bad so people can avoid them like the plague. If Kazanova truly feels the attendant loves him the same way he does, then he should ask and get to the point so he sees if he really should in fact love that attendant how he says he does. If she makes it clear she's there for a dollar, then yea its a good idea to avoid that girl like the plague.
I partook in the game for a time long ago as I mentioned, since I did that trust me Im not any better. Im trying to be better though and not live a double life, just one life in truth, always and forever. I know with a little Guidance, anyone can be saved out of situations that are just honestly negative in nature. Just people don't seriously think about situations on a very deep level and yearn to truly understand all the elements around what they partake in. Most people only look at their habits, or what they partake in at face value. Never truly understanding what they are involved with.
I am actually very interested in learning about Brazil and the Favelas, state of the world their, opportunity, and Would like to here some two sense on the place since I doubt Id be going for a while. Never had a conversation with a Brazilian that actually lived there yet or has family, its pretty ironic I'm actually having a conversation with you. Im sure you could teach me something I don't know since I'm sure you used to live there or have family there. Plus Spanish sounds like a good idea to know how to speak as a language; maybe you can give some pointers with that and how to learn it quicker. Believe me I do know there are good girls there at Premier who don't provide all services, especially the one main one, but still keep true to there morals and really want true intimacy with a guy they will soon find... I know some girls just give massages, maybe an HJ and nothing more. its still bad but not as destructive as the ones that are provided that are more intimate. Some of those girls though could still be in relationships, and still satisfying other men. All for a dollar and allowing the dudes to use them instead of them using the dudes. Its all apart of the same boat if you think about it. It honestly isn't any better still lies are involved therefore negativity will always be there.
Ps. Sorry for the small font, it randomly changed