Chat Jokes please

[snoopdoggie]

So I was at a familiar bar ...
I said to a guy “ new in town?”
He said “ya just came in from Sudbury”
I said “Sudbury ? Do you like it there ?”
He said “hell no... I hate it”
I said “ya nothing any good comes from Sudbury but whores and hockey players”
He said “ WHAT ?? My wife is from Sudbury!”
I said “oh ... what team does she play for?”

The sex team tag-team, of course.

 

[snoopdoggie]

Ha ha ha ha ha

 

[BmH6769]

 

[snoopdoggie]

View attachment 146321

Who are these guys? Maxwell Smart and 99?

 

[BmH6769]

Wat’u gon’ do...

 

[SaggyBallz]

Happy Women’s Day

 

[northofgta]

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[snoopdoggie]

Wat’u gon’ do...View attachment 146835

Isn't that the truth? I just saw a young lady drive over a parking lot Island last night. Scraped the whole bottom of the car.

 

[BmH6769]

 

[northofgta]

Ok, I know someone in here has tried this. Genius I must say hahaha

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[northofgta]

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[loves to lick]

Magic Sandals


A married couple were on holiday in Jamaica . They were touring around the market-place looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop.
From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, 'You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.'

So the married couple walked in.

The Jamaican said to them, 'I 'ave some special sandals I tink you would be interested in. Dey makes you wild at sex.'
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them,
being the Sex God that he was.
The husband asked the man, 'How could sandals make you a sex freak?'

The Jamaican replied, 'Just try dem on, Mon.'
Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in and tried them on.

As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen before!!

In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him over the table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's thighs.

The Jamaican began screaming: 'You got dem on de wrong feet!'

 

[loves to lick]

Subject: Fw: FW: A Touching golf story...........

A man lost an arm when his golf cart rolled over on him on a down slope. He became very depressed because he loved to play golf. One day in his despair, he decided to commit suicide and end it all. He got on an elevator and went to the top of a building to jump off. He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man down on the sidewalk skipping along, whooping and kicking up his heels. He looked closer and saw that this man didn't have any arms at all. He started thinking, "What am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself? I still have one good arm to do things with." He thought, "There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk so happy, and going on with his life." He hurried down to the sidewalk and caught up with the man with no arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because he lost one of his arms and felt useless and was going to kill himself. He thanked him for saving his life and said he knew he could make it with one arm if the guy could go on with no arms. The man with no arms began dancing and whooping and kicking up his heels again. He asked, "Why are you so happy anyway?" He said, "I'm NOT happy. My balls itch." Heart-warming stories like this just bring a tear to my eyes..​

 

[loves to lick]

FIVE SECOND RULE FOR IMAGES--

If you noticed the shark within five seconds, you're probably gay!!!

 

[niceandnaughty]

Why don't married men fall asleep after sex?

 

[niceandnaughty]

Why don't married men fall asleep after sex?

Because they have to drive home

 

[loves to lick]

 

[loves to lick]

 

[BmH6769]

 

[snoopdoggie]

View attachment 148097

Of course not.