Chat Can you trust spa girls...

[barefeet]

Happy new years everyone!

Anyone have new year resolutions as it relates to hobbying?

For me, I will try to take 2 days off from hobbying each week (but it will be tough)

I will try to hobby only one day a week from 2-3 days before. It will also be tough.

 

[Lalallala]

Oi. So here’s a serious question. When is it time to quit spa life? I think at the end of the day, I prefer relationships more. I realized this evening that I crave the attention of one person, and I’ve just been chasing other highs to distract myself from that person. I kind of wish I could dissociate myself from this but in this one case, I don’t think I can.

ETA: right now my abs and obliques are absolutely killing me after the gym last night. Busting my ass to get back to my 20something form again. Ugh.

 

[Lalallala]

I totally need to go get a legit massage but here I am contemplating how to get anything but a legit massage tomorrow. Ffs.

 

[Lalallala]

Oi. Ok guys. Thanks for the fun times. But my time here is over. Happy new year guys and thanks for the memories and the community.

 

[OG_funguy]

Oi. Ok guys. Thanks for the fun times. But my time here is over. Happy new year guys and thanks for the memories and the community.

Huh, what happened?

 

[Ambler]

Oi. So here’s a serious question. When is it time to quit spa life? I think at the end of the day, I prefer relationships more. I realized this evening that I crave the attention of one person, and I’ve just been chasing other highs to distract myself from that person. I kind of wish I could dissociate myself from this but in this one case, I don’t think I can.

ETA: right now my abs and obliques are absolutely killing me after the gym last night. Busting my ass to get back to my 20something form again. Ugh.

I left during COVID and when Michelle at E&M retired saw no compelling reason to return. But then a family friend got handsy, I got tempted but I couldn't see that leading to anywhere good, so took my temptation to spa world. On the basis of XTC's posting I found my way to Lucy, discussed my problem with her, she is a good listener and helped me divert a fatal attraction into a fantasy obsession. Thanks Lucy fpr the roleplay! And, gulp, if I am honest, thanks @xtc27.

Lucy liked me so one day she asked if she could bring a newbie in, zero experience, and I became a big fan of that short termer who since retired, and when she left I took half a year off. Then someone suggested Cherry @ Sentosa and I go weekly ever since. Our differing vacations led to me checking out other ladies, but like butter spread a bit too thin, and out of fear of spending the price of a private jet annually if I hobby like OG, I think I will taper off a bit. See the best every week or so, but it is easy to get addicted, spawarrior was right about that, and as that one lady said: obsession leads to damage.

So Peace out Mr L, you were a brief but shining star in the firmament of spaworld, better to flame out than to fade away...

Happy Trails

 

[eyeswideshut]

Oi. Ok guys. Thanks for the fun times. But my time here is over. Happy new year guys and thanks for the memories and the community.

You're doing what most regulars here are unable to

Kudos and good luck!

 

[eyeswideshut]

So what are those pros and cons
What does crossing the line entail?
I'm sure exchanging numbers is the first step, messaging into grabbing a bite outside the spa.
But what is there to gain? At what cost/risk.
Should I be content with a hour long visit and keep that fantasy outta reach?
That special feeling and connection, the temptation to take things further keeps things feeling electric without getting burned

Go ahead and cross the line, sport; it will probably end badly, but you'll get over it

My spa girl decided she couldn't trust me....Our connection was real, and we were both feeling it, but now it’s gone. Today, I thought about taking a step forward. Midway through, things shifted—she became very inquisitive and doubtful. What really hurt was when I asked her what had changed. She just said, You don’t owe me anything. You don’t need to tell me more about yourself, you’re just a client

When I asked her if we could get it back (the magic), she simply said, We’ve caught feelings, and there’s no going back.

The coldness burns and to be treated as any other client without that spark.... It sucks.

S4L, it sounds like you fast-forwarded to the cons unfortunately. I've read a number of stories here of guys going down this path and without fail that is how it ends. I think the only way to make it work is if you take it to the next level - i.e. marrying her and providing for her completely so she can leave the industry and never look back

That's really hard to do though because imo the average successful spa girl makes more than the average hobbier. She's going to miss the freedom that her finances used to provide her. And of course there's always the husband/boyfriend

Plus is that what you're really looking for??

If your 'spa girl' owns a spa (sorry Ambler) then it's even worse. The spa will always come first and you've got to be okay with what that means. Knowing that she will probably still work in the room occasionally even though she's 'retired' (hmm, Renee?), and there's always the suspicion that she probably has other boyfriends. This suspicion is almost a given (whether she owns a spa or not!)

I'm guessing that OG is getting really good at compartmentalizing, but even he admits there are things he'd rather not know. Click on the wrong review in MP and you'll be left with an image that's hard to erase (just search for OGs 4-hands experience and imagine that he's talking about 'your girl' - pretty sure that'll cause you some sleepness nights )

Anything that’s too one sided is doomed to failure

That may be however I've discovered something slightly different but along the same lines. The person with the least invested in the relationship has the most power. In spite of everything said in this thread (sorry, OG) I believe that spa girls know that any relationship that develops will be relatively short-lived. They see so many clients a day that they have to be able to disassociate themselves emotionally usually at the drop of a dime. I've even witnessed that almost instant disassociation and it was an eye-opener. This 'lack of investment' almost guarantees that your spa girl has most of the power in the relationship and thus she can end it whenever she wants without too much emotional damage on her part

Sorry that it happened so fast for you S4L

 

[DareDevil]

Oi. Ok guys. Thanks for the fun times. But my time here is over. Happy new year guys and thanks for the memories and the community.

This kind of hobby is so addictive, I was out for a while and then came back. Wish you all the best pal.

 

[LVA]

This kind of hobby is so addictive, I was out for a while and then came back. Wish you all the best pal.

For sure very difficult to not be overcome by addiction. They are often seeing multiple guys. Currently seeing one and when you get to the truth it can be surprising. This one is married with a teenage kid and lives with a boyfriend but wants to live with me. Crazy situation. They all lie initially and they are all ten years older than they tell you. The spa says mid to late 20s and her papers say she turns 40 this year. But it is possible but rare to find one among the many to be trusted.

 

[OG_funguy]

S4L, it sounds like you fast-forwarded to the cons unfortunately. I've read a number of stories here of guys going down this path and without fail that is how it ends. I think the only way to make it work is if you take it to the next level - i.e. marrying her and providing for her completely so she can leave the industry and never look back

That's really hard to do though because imo the average successful spa girl makes more than the average hobbier. She's going to miss the freedom that her finances used to provide her. And of course there's always the husband/boyfriend

Plus is that what you're really looking for??

If your 'spa girl' owns a spa (sorry Ambler) then it's even worse. The spa will always come first and you've got to be okay with what that means. Knowing that she will probably still work in the room occasionally even though she's 'retired' (hmm, Renee?), and there's always the suspicion that she probably has other boyfriends. This suspicion is almost a given (whether she owns a spa or not!)

I'm guessing that OG is getting really good at compartmentalizing, but even he admits there are things he'd rather not know. Click on the wrong review in MP and you'll be left with an image that's hard to erase (just search for OGs 4-hands experience and imagine that he's talking about 'your girl' - pretty sure that'll cause you some sleepness nights )

That may be however I've discovered something slightly different but along the same lines. The person with the least invested in the relationship has the most power. In spite of everything said in this thread (sorry, OG) I believe that spa girls know that any relationship that develops will be relatively short-lived. They see so many clients a day that they have to be able to disassociate themselves emotionally usually at the drop of a dime. I've even witnessed that almost instant disassociation and it was an eye-opener. This 'lack of investment' almost guarantees that your spa girl has most of the power in the relationship and thus she can end it whenever she wants without too much emotional damage on her part

Sorry that it happened so fast for you S4L

You raise some very good points

One thing I disagree with is that not "every" spa girl believes the relationship will be short-lived. Maybe the majority think this way but I've encountered a few that really wanted a long term serious relationship...

 

[luvdafurburger]

Oi. Ok guys. Thanks for the fun times. But my time here is over. Happy new year guys and thanks for the memories and the community.

Sounds good. Take care.

We'll see you in March.

 

[luvdafurburger]

Whenever I read guys are emotionally falling for and simping for any girl, not just SP, I cringe.
C'mon guys! It's a game and know where you stand. Play this game to win. And winning means do what works best for you.

The spa world is a business. Simple. You manipulate things to maximize your benefit. Surprise...so does everyone else! There's never a shortage of people who would be happy to take your money. That's not a bad thing. You just make them earn it. Anything beyond that should be mutually beneficial to both parties equally.

If a guy can't walk away from any situation at any point then he is too invested. Don't be a chump.
Be respectful and have fun, but remember it's a fantasy.

Sometimes they lie...but so do you.

 

[startbeforeIfinish]

Whenever I read guys are emotionally falling for and simping for any girl, not just SP, I cringe.
C'mon guys! It's a game and know where you stand. Play this game to win. And winning means do what works best for you.

The spa world is a business. Simple. You manipulate things to maximize your benefit. Surprise...so does everyone else! There's never a shortage of people who would be happy to take your money. That's not a bad thing. You just make them earn it. Anything beyond that should be mutually beneficial to both parties equally.

If a guy can't walk away from any situation at any point then he is too invested. Don't be a chump.
Be respectful and have fun, but remember it's a fantasy.

Sometimes they lie...but so do you.

I appreciate your insight and attitude. Excellant. Above all it is transactional and fooling myself otherwise. Still will be a friend but my inner dialog is always do not be a chump. Have to be objective and yes if I am not winning wtf.

 

[eyeswideshut]

You raise some very good points

One thing I disagree with is that not "every" spa girl believes the relationship will be short-lived. Maybe the majority think this way but I've encountered a few that really wanted a long term serious relationship...

You have a point. Maybe 'know' was too strong a word. How about this:

'I believe that spa girls are prepared that any relationship that develops could be relatively short-lived, and if not that it could still end at any time.'

 

[luvdafurburger]

Thanks.

I kind of think there are at least two ways to look at it:

Most people seek what they want and request it. That works sometimes.
But I look at what does she value and what do I value.

I could go in and be a smelly, cheap, demanding dick. I would expect no more than a hostile "work to rule" type service. I would likely receive that level irrelevant any commodity in any industry.

Not my style anyway. And my thanks to anyone who does that because it makes me look like a fucking saint to the ladies.

But if I put forth the things that THEY value first, I'll be much more likely to get a much higher level of service.

For example, all people seek to be treated fairly and respectfully. That's a given.

But spa girls justifiably have a few things more on their list. This is cleanliness, generosity, and respect for any boundaries they set. We're all entitled to certain boundaries. No one wants to deal with a cheap demanding gropy motherfucker.

So if I focus on giving others what they want first, the things I can predict they value. My investment almost always guarantees I get what I want....and sometimes when the stars align, a lot more than what I expected

 

[Ambler]

For sure very difficult to not be overcome by addiction. They are often seeing multiple guys. Currently seeing one and when you get to the truth it can be surprising. This one is married with a teenage kid and lives with a boyfriend but wants to live with me. Crazy situation. They all lie initially and they are all ten years older than they tell you. The spa says mid to late 20s and her papers say she turns 40 this year. But it is possible but rare to find one among the many to be trusted.

And to tell the truth, you can't trust the papers.

 

[kittyhound69]

But why do you go to spas ?? To date ? Makes no sense ,spas are for a release from the every day doldrums . Too many men go to spas to date the girls

 

[luvdafurburger]

You raise some very good points

One thing I disagree with is that not "every" spa girl believes the relationship will be short-lived. Maybe the majority think this way but I've encountered a few that really wanted a long term serious relationship...

Sometimes the question could also be: "Should a Spa Girl trust us?"

Sure there are people of questionable character. Men and women. Gender is not relevant.

But how many guys on here go in and bullshit their way around when asked certain questions? They know damn well why they're being asked just the same if you're on a date and a girl asks what you do for a living.

Ladies always ask or allude to my status. I just straight up front tell them 100% transparently how things are and make it clear I'm not looking to change anything. The party is one hour long and after that we're not a match.

There's no confusion or manipulation on my part or theirs then. And of course some things are private... we're all entitled to preserve our privacy.

Guys need to have the balls to be honest so they don't light a match if they can't put out the fire.

 

[startbeforeIfinish]

Thanks.

I kind of think there are at least two ways to look at it:

Most people seek what they want and request it. That works sometimes.
But I look at what does she value and what do I value.

I could go in and be a smelly, cheap, demanding dick. I would expect no more than a hostile "work to rule" type service. I would likely receive that level irrelevant any commodity in any industry.

Not my style anyway. And my thanks to anyone who does that because it makes me look like a fucking saint to the ladies.

But if I put forth the things that THEY value first, I'll be much more likely to get a much higher level of service.

For example, all people seek to be treated fairly and respectfully. That's a given.

But spa girls justifiably have a few things more on their list. This is cleanliness, generosity, and respect for any boundaries they set. We're all entitled to certain boundaries. No one wants to deal with a cheap demanding gropy motherfucker.

So if I focus on giving others what they want first, the things I can predict they value. My investment almost always guarantees I get what I want....and sometimes when the stars align, a lot more than what I expected

A far as as what she values, I will say"was that good? How did you like that?" and my regular will say "I like the money". I will say catering to her likes has made her super receptive and usually a much better than ever expected experience. If all else fails the transaction is good for both sides and always a good bridge for us.