Why would my GF allow a massage from someone else, if she wont even let me?

[David]

Question for women:

(LONG STORY) According to her, I'm not special. She says she doesn't like massages, or being touched, by ANYONE.

I will never pretend to understand the female mind in all its complexity. My GF and I have been together for over 6mo now. We've been physically intimate since day one. But in some ways, mentally & sensually, there's not much going on. Bottom line, she doesn't like being touched. That removes me gently brushing my hand, just about anywhere. It especially rules out back, neck, arm, leg, foot, or anywhere massages. Its just something I've been "I'm sorry, I'm not 'not allowing' it to be mean, I just don't like it"

So last winter, while at school "she commutes", she sends a txt msg that she let a massage therapist student give her massage. Being that it was totally out of the blue, I quickly got my knickers in a twist about it. I mean lets face, it would be pretty easy to get the wrong picture with such a random message.

She quickly realized that sounded bad, and clarified. That this student was first of all, in a emergency situation. At last minute, he lost his massage partner for a class assignment and was asking random people for help. Apparently this was to be done in front of a class instructor. So nothing erotic or sensual about it. Just professionally for class. Anyway, she genuinely likes helping people, and accepted. In her clarification to me, she felt compelled to say he was a gay, so I had no worries there. Then assured me she was just trying to help a student get a passing grade. (admirable)

That cooled me down some. But then the questions came into my head "why would you let another person, especially a stranger, male or female, give you a massage, if you wont even let your BF, or supposedly anyone do it?". That scaled it down to a big fight between us. About trust, about jealousy, about not leading into things so much. She says she allowed it, cause her mindset was to help a student get a passing grade, not get physical relief from the next random guy/girl that walked past her. But that's only reason she allowed it. Ok, I can understand that, but when your GF is constantly complaining of back/neck problems, and me being me, I want to help cause of the pain. And she wont let me, that frustrates the living hell out of me. But she'll allow a perfect stranger if the reasoning is rigth.

Why why why? We still fight about this one to this day.
Lol, I just realized how I kind of sounded writing this. No not according to her I'm not special. Its just a figure of speech. Yeah I would agree with most people that I sound selfish. However, I've never even got to try to massage her, ever. When try to even be gentle as can be, she still doesn't like it.

A thing to note, she was raped at a young age. Not blaming it on that. But I wouldn't be surprised if subconsciously that had some, or something to do with it.
When I say we're still fighting, that means she still gets upset at me for being confused about it. I'm not mad about it. Ok, so I still don't understand her answer, but I'm not mad about it anymore. Today I said the likelyhood of me understanding it is slim/to/none, so that I'll just never bring it up again.

 

[Dillon King]

Aww bro my gf broke up with me cuz of this worst of all it happend right when i was answering your question dump her she dosent want other girls to talk to you one day she is gonna call you crying and ruin your life

 

[Goose&Tonic]

Well, the stranger in question is (or is going to be) a professional. Thus, they know what they are doing when it comes to massage.

She may just not like the way you massage. (Ever see that episode of "Friends" where Monica keeps trying to give Chandler back massages but he runs away because her massages are painful?)

Look, the real point here is that IT DOESN'T MATTER. You're all bent out of shape because she'll allow a professional to give her a massage in one instance. You're picking fights with her for helping someone out. You're angry because you're not getting your way. That is selfish and childish.

We all have our hang-ups and quirks. This is one of hers. Either accept it and move on or break up with her. Fighting about such a petty and non-changable issue is a waste of time.

 

[TreyMacG]

Sounds fishy to me dude.... My GF is the same way doesnt like to be touched by "strangers" but she loves it when I do. Just weird she would let a stranger do it, so he probably isnt a stranger..... sorry.

 

[Billy Ocean]

Please urself, not others

 

[underthestarz007]

"she commutes" -> (she commutes)

Darlin', that's a basic.

 

[juggalettejen]

well it could be that maybe you are to rough when you try to massage her, as apposed to a professional who has had the training and knows how to be gentle. it could also be that maybe she just doesn't like when you touch her. i think you should sit down and really talk to her. if she fluffs it off well then shes probably doesn't want you touching her, and that's not good for a relationship.