Where can I find a massage therapist who is willing to touch me?

[Francis Ulma!]

I've really been sore lately. I'm always running around the house cleaning and such since my lazy husband doesn't want to help. So I'm always tired and my body is sore. I tried to get my friends to give my rub downs and things, but they all bluntly said no. I'm old and wrinkly. I know! I'm fine with that. My breath isn't too bad, but mouthwash burns. I may not be much to look at but I'm sweet.

Who is willing to rub down this old lady? I want to be touched!
Blesses!!
-F U

 

[Posleen Killer]

with happy ending?

 

[My Bastard Son Has AIDS]

I specialize in rubbing down old ladies, and I won't even charge you.

 

[Your Teeth or Mine?]

If I can use an electric sander (Great for wrinkle removing) I could give you a go for an undisclosed sum.

 

[Lover of Life]

Ask an adult you trust like the mailman maybe. He'll deliver and prob. has strong hands.

 

[*Kerilyn]

HEY, old lady.....YOU are already "touched"...
in the head that is...(just thinking of touching you makes me gag...!!!) ewwwww.

 

[Lucy]

As Long as you pay them... an Asian will do anything!