REAL REVIEWS: Easy Life Spa

[Donn]

What the fuck? I walked into Easy Life Spa this week to take advantage of the early $40/hr special. Greeted by an empty reception area until the sound of footsteps scurrying forward got closer to reveal... a tired, panting, sweating and overweight lady who I assume could not possibly be doing the massage. Jokes on me.

“You no like me?” She asked me quite seriously. Her sweat stains were still spreading across her t-shirt as we spoke and she never once looked me in the eye. For a minute I thought she was blind.

“It’s not personal,” I replied, though I myself was quite personally offended. “Anybody else?”

She proceeded to walk out back down the hall yelling something I couldn’t understand and out comes... her fucking twin sister! Only more sweaty, more fatigued and more obese. Both had the look of people only recently exposed to sunlight and civilization. They looked like they were there to fix the plumbing.

When I declined and turned to leave a skinny lady in a rice hat and oversized glasses sliding up and down her nose ran out of a room ahead of me to cut off my exit. I was literally sandwiched and being closed in on. I scoured my surroundings for a quick exit and quickly surmised that my best option was to do a running floor slide between rice lady’s legs and hope I popped back up fast enough to make a dash for the front door.

“Sir, sir... stay,” the lady with the rice hat said measuredly. She must have been reading my eyes darting around looking for an escape. Her hands waved in front of me as if she were trying to conjure up a new masseuse. “We have a girl from Shanghai!”

What the fuck? I responded with a quiet “no thank you” to try and ease my way out but as if on cue all the women screamed, “Please sir don’t go! Shanghai girl! Look, sir! Look!”

I turned around to the yelling plumbers to see them hovering around their prize, which appeared to be a nice-bodied masseuse waving at me to return. Maybe the rice hat lady’s conjuring had worked. Maybe they’d cracked my code. I’ll never know. By then I had put back on my shades and they were all just silhouettes to me. I had no interest in taking a closer look and the dead silence awaiting my response was even more awkward.

I never took another step closer to check her out. She might have been the “break in case of emergency” girl of my dreams but I didn’t take one more goddamn step down that hallway.

Something was totally off about the whole scene. They were actually running to keep me in the shop and sweat even more profusely each time I motioned to leave. One lady appeared to be on the verge of tears.

When I turned back as I approached my car in the parking lot three heads stacked on top of each other were peering out from behind the main door. The plumbers and the rice hat lady were mouthing something to me but I couldn’t make it out.

What the fuck?

The conjured masseuse seemed to have disappeared as quickly as she had appeared.

I left Fargo style out of the parking lot and headed east on Finch towards anywhere but there.

True story.

 

[OG_funguy]

Good writing sir!...had me laughing after a long day at work.

 

[Poontang Fan]

Is this the place in Newmarket, that often posts their schedule, here on the forum?

 

[OG_funguy]

Is this the place in Newmarket, that often posts their schedule, here on the forum?

I don't think so as he mentions driving further on Finch. I believe he's talking about the spa at 678 Finch Ave E.

Easy life spa / Toronto's Massage Therapy / Table shower

Easy Life Spa is situated in a beautiful convenient location on Finch Avenue East in North York beside TD bank. We offer truly uplifting and extremely effective/relaxing body treatments and table shower. Get ready to leave refreshed!

www.easylifespa.com

 

[OG_funguy]

Anyone else been here and can comment? $40 for 1hr before 11:30 is not a bad deal "if" they can do a half decent massage.

 

[Old No. 7]

Anyone else been here and can comment? $40 for 1hr before 11:30 is not a bad deal "if" they can do a half decent massage.

I've been there many times.
Never had a bad experience.
It's semi legit at the most.

 

[Potato]

What gem of a story! Why do you only have 10 posts in 1 year? Please, write more often, your story telling is brilliant!

I'd be curious to read about a positive experience you've had somewhere.

 

[Nandor De Laurentis]

Too funny

 

[krayjee]

I've been there many times.
Never had a bad experience.
It's semi legit at the most.

When was the last time you were there ? Two yrs ago? Things might have changed.

 

[Bongolowski]

Excellent story!!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Old No. 7]

When was the last time you were there ? Two yrs ago? Things might have changed.

I still manage to go by once every couple of months or so.
Still get well treated every time.

 

[cupcrazy]

Anyone else been here and can comment? $40 for 1hr before 11:30 is not a bad deal "if" they can do a half decent massage.

lets be frank, you will never get an hour of massage.

 

[Pay2Play]

When was the last time you were there ? Two yrs ago? Things might have changed.

I still manage to go by once every couple of months or so.
Still get well treated every time.

Is this a shrewd marketing plan or is it a pissing match? Hmmmmmmm...