My girlfriend wants to be a massage therapist?

[13lunt]

She wants to massage people because she wants to relieve their pain, because she knows how it feels to have aches and not being able to do anything about it. My problem is, that she will be massaging both men and women. Why should I feel comfortable about possible my future wife rubbing on a dude? Am I overreacting? I heard some stories about guys getting hard over this and towels accidental falling off. I've been to a massage palor when I was 17 (18 now) and all I could think about was messing around with the lady that was doing me. I don't know if I can go through 5 days a week like this. She said she would pick another profession if that's what I want but I want her to follow her dream. can someone put my mind at ease?
Thanks you guys, so far all of you have been helpful. I DO NOT want to kill her dream. She said if I want her not to do it then she wont, but I said no, because I love her too much to stop her from doing what she wants to do.

 

[KaeleighDenise]

I dont think you are over reacting but you need to answer your question with "do i trust my future wife with this?" only you know. we really cant answer. if you feel like your girlfriend will maybe cheat on you, you really need to talk to her. explain your concerns nicely, she will hopefully answer your questions. message therapy may cause you fear, but really it shouldnt. getting a massage or working at a spa doesnt involve really speaking with her "patient/client". it is more about massaging and allowing the client to relax. clients dont usually talk and most of the time sleep. i do not believe you have anything to worry about. i really hope you and her resolve your issue, good luck!

 

[kbee]

You are overreacting. That is a great proffesion and if you have no reason not to trust her than that is just silly.

 

[cherryblossoms]

massage therapists are professional and would never engage in anything in-appropriate or obviously their would be reprocussions. If she does go into that business its her job and she wants to help people, but I can see how you might not like that. I can see how that kind of atmosphere where people are naked in towels and what not could upset you and some of the guys might be attracted to her, but you really have nothing to worry about shes not going to do anything with them and their not going to think about doing anything with her because it wouldnt be right. Its all in their head if they do like her and wouldnt act on it, a lot of different people have fantasies but it doesnt mean they would ever act on them. It seems like shes a nice lady by saying she would do something else if you are not comfortable with it. You should talk to her about it and do the pros and cons thing but she should follow her dream.

 

[I love him <3]

It makes sense that this would bother you, but you shouldn't stop her from doing this. Many guys don't feel attracted to their massage therapist. Some do though, but even if they do, your girlfriend isn't going to do anything, and she isn't interested in them.

As for the getting hard thing, yeah that happens a lot. but guys don't really do anything about it, they just try to hide it if anything. & as for the towel thing, that RARELY happens.

I don't think you should worry though

 

[goodcharacter]

Let her take the schooling and then only work for a doctor in his office
when she gets hired. In the meantime, she has to have 1,000 practice hours. Sign up for all 1,000 hrs at your place and hers. :0 : D

 

[Jonathan]

i dont know man because you bet that theres gonna be alot of guys that are goin to try to have sex with her and in my opinion she should just picka other carrer

 

[katty94]

yes, you are overreacting. She will stay with you if she loves you. It's her job. So what if she see's something? Show her something better.

 

[missmojo78]

Yes she would be massaging men and women. BUT it's like being a doctor, you just don't think of your clients like that, it's called professionalism. Her choice of career is obviously bothering you and good on you for talking to her about it. You really shouldn't make her choose something else, that is just selfish. Just realize that any time you go to the doctor they aren't thinking about getting off with you either.

 

[Marisa]

dnt worry. if she realLy Loves you , which sounds like she does cause she would give up her dream to make you happy, Then she wont let anything happen between the men she massages.

 

[try to no avail]

Just think about this. Yes she will be doing Women and Men. But honestly how many guys get massages, and out of those men that do. How many will be fat and hairy sweaty and nasty. She really wants to do this and im sure it not for the possiblity of rubbing on some hot guy. All those super ripped stunning guys your worried about thinks its to girly to get a massage

 

[Debunkatron]

Typically, people who go into massage therapy are serious about it, and as a business it is taken pretty seriously.

The worst thing you have to worry about is dealing with jokes about happy endings and whatnot, but really, it's just immaturity. Don't sweat it.

 

[Leigh B]

There is NOTHING sexual about message therapy AT ALL. Massage therapists do sometimes work on physically attractive people, but they work on a lot of ugly people, too. Therapists are trained to be very sensitive to a person's privacy and dignity. There's nothing exploitational about it.

Also, it can be demanding on the therapist, because they're working so hard to remove all the tension and discomfort from their client that they can sometimes absorb the tension themselves. It takes a skilled therapist to avoid that. Most therapists are concentrating much too hard to let sexual thoughts interfere with their work. A body is just a body.

 

[Tigerspaw357]

I can understand your concern but professional masseurs do not "rub" and touch in a sensual way - those types of parlors are located in places that your girlfriend would not work in - and she also has to follow a code of ethics to avoid losing her license esp. since sexual harassment suits are being filed by men as well females.

As in my case of being a young female medical student I get a lot of reactions when I tell a guy esp. my age to drop his pants -my professional mind set overtakes me and I see the anatomy in a different view and not the same way I would if with my mate - it's amazing because I never thought that possible.

I look at an arm or leg and rectum and other parts of the body and start thinking about the limbs, bones and tissue - not the same way I look at my boyfriend's arm - communication with your girlfriend on how you feel and allow her to express and share her training experience with you - it's a great profession and highly needed. Hope this helps to ease your insecurity a bit.

 

[Lauren]

You need to relax. My husband has similar concerns with me because I'm a nurse and I see naked people all day every day. I also have to touch they're private parts for certain procedures. It's no big deal. As a woman trust me, you aren't looking at these people in a sexual manner, you're looking at them in the sense that you have a job to do. I can guarantee that it's the same with your girlfriend. You need to trust her that she won't act on any of the thoughts that her clients (such as you had) have. She knows she would lose her job for that. And if she loves you it won't even get close to that point.

 

[TheDeathMessage]

Your reaction is natural, so I think everyone who reads your question is going to see it and not think it is low of you to think that way. Honestly, however, I'm not so certain coming to an online site is going to do anything about your worries. For instance, all I can really do is tell you that assuming you truly trust her 100% to do nothing with those other men, there should be no problem. However, let's be realistic here. You are human, I am human, she is human and anyone else who reads this is human too. Just because I tell you what you should feel doesn't mean you are going to take it to heart; this is obviously a matter that has haunted you for sometimes.

Long story short, talk to her about it yourself. If you both keep an open-mind, you should be able to come to a mutual agreement about how to best handle this situation. However, don't feel like there is anything wrong with being territorial about her. A great deal of species on this planet do not just allow their female counterparts to go around and mess around with other males. Just keep an open-mind in your discussion and keep in mind your fears are only proof that you care about her and things should work themselves out.

However, I do think it is rather unfair of you to want to kill a professional dream she has merely because of a "phobia", or unreasonable fear. We aren't talking about a stripper or a porn star, we are talking about massage therapy. The assumption that it means other guys will want to mess around with her is also a tad illogical anyways since a lot of men probably see her that way now anyways. Just talk to her about it.