Massage tutor kissed me, I am still married but separated.?

[swallowtail909]

I recently decided to change careers. I was a legal assistant in a plaintiffs-side class-action law firm (civil rights/human rights-oriented).

I entered massage school last year. It was very challenging for me, far more challenging than I'd expected. I asked for a tutor the first week, but the school's policy is that none of their tutors will help you unless you are in danger of failing!! When I explained that I didn't want to get to that point, they didn't have much to say to me. I made it through the first term and actually did very well grade-wise, but it totally exhausted and depleted me (up until 3am studying, etc.) I then took a break from the program (I now have 2-3 terms left depending on which program I choose).

(This relates to a relationship issue, just give me a second )

It would not be very helpful to find a tutor who isn't registered by the school, although I did consider it, it really wouldn't be worth it.

Now for my relationship issue!

A guy who was in my class offered to tutor me. I jumped at the chance! He is laid-back and patient and an excellent bodyworker. He ran his own practice in another state, but the licensing requirements are tougher for my state, which is why he was in class with me... but he has way more experience and knowledge than the average recently-graduated student.

I met with him for the first time a couple of weeks ago. He wanted to be friends in addition to tutoring me, which I was happy about, so we hung out as friends as well.

He said that he wanted someone to cuddle, so I said I would do it. It seemed harmless enough. He kissed me. It didn't go further than that. I liked the kiss.

My husband and I are separated and are platonic friends. We're not sure if we want to get back together or not. My husband has said that he wants to know about anything like this, so I did tell him. He wasn't pleased but basically has accepted it. But, I am still married. And I still really want to keep this guy as my tutor, but I'm not sure if that is possible now.

Any thoughts appreciated. Thanks.
Yikes, David, I must have somehow given a wrong impression. The kiss and cuddling were totally separate from the actual massage experience. He has been completely professional every time he has given me a massage. Which has been about six times including the time that we were students in the same class. No inner thigh massage or anything else weird!! (THANK GOD!!! It isn't THAT kind of massage!!!)

 

[Shadar]

Well, you are separated from your husband. Do you know if he's been engaging in relationships with other women? Or is it more of a cooling off period for the two of you, remaining celibate and committed to one another, until you can get back together?

Depending on the circumstances of your separation, are you and your husband permitted to see other people? If the two of you have full intentions of getting back together, then I can see where this would be a problem with the tutor. Indeed, if you continue on with him, it is likely that you'll find yourself in a new relationship shortly. While that's not necessarily a bad thing, it certainly would be the final blow to kill your current marriage.

 

[treehugger]

i know my bf would not be "ok" if i kissed a guy while we were on a break especially if i kept seeing him

 

[David W]

Seems like you're pretty bright and are keeping pretty tight control on things. The massage fun could escalate to sex considering he's tutoring you in how to touch people, so he has to show you (now we'll do upper inner thigh massage.... then it's sunrise). You're playing with fire, but that can be fun ... and you might even rekindle platonic hubby's ardor with a few more hot stories. Good luck!

 

[M. Freedom]

who in their right mind would leave your former job to be a massuse
of course you're going to meet low lifes.
that guy puts the act on everyone he meets
your husband dint mind because hes doing the same thing

 

[Mommy to a Little Bug]

separation means that you are in the process of a divorce. if your marriage wasn't already going downhill fast you wouldn't need to separate. don't worry about the kiss.

 

[Mary]

so, what is the question?

 

[Mike Hunt]

why not have sex?