is it appropriate to massage my teenage stepdaughters feet?

[jon_tx888]

First off if you're just gonna read the headline and call me a perv then dont even bother commenting. Im not trying to seduce her or anything, just need a little friendly advice thats all. She started running track not too long ago and shes always complaining that her feet hurt. It seems like shes too shy to ask me but she always puts her feet on me like on my lap, leg, arm etc. when we're on the couch and other people are around (always in a playful manner) so shes obviously comfortable with me touching them. Shes seen me massage her moms feet before so lm not sure if this is just her way of flirting or if she just wants her feet rubbed. Any suggestions?
I've been with her mother, who is older than I am for about 3 and 1/2 years, we don't live together so I see them maybe 3 times a week usually weekends. My stepdaughter and I have always gotten along really well. She's an only child so I think she sees me almost as a big brother type too. So she likes to pick on me sometimes (punch in the arm, jumping on my back, verbal teasing etc.) all in fun though. I've bought her new running shoes, socks, her mother has one of those water massage/perafin wax tubs so I've pretty much done what I can so far. Its not that feet bother me at all, I mean sure I can tell the difference between nice and ugly looking feet. I'm just not sure if she's secretly getting aroused when I touch them or maybe she thinks I am or something? It seems to keep happening (her putting her feet on me) more often than usual here lately though. Any suggestions or insight would be helpful, thanks.
And I really don't want to make a big deal out of it and push her away because like I said before we have a really good relationship and she might get her feelings hurt (she's always been very self conscious of her feet) I think the only reason she's always putting them on me is because it makes her feel more confident about them and she's just comfortable being around me and I don't wanna ruin that.

 

[vampyre4blood]

go get her one of those massagers that you fill with water i LOVE mine. it heats the water and massages your feet at the same time. soaking and massage WOW. i would talk to your wife about it first she what her ideas and thoughts are.

 

[mad hatter]

Ask her if she wants you to rub her feet. If she says yes, do it, if not, don't. Don't let it go any further than that, though. If she's flirting, you don't want to endorse that.

 

[JasonsWifey]

I suppose there would be no harm in you doing that, but be careful that no boundries are crossed that arent supposed to be.

 

[G Love]

If you have a foot fetish, then NO, not appropriate. That's easy, black and white, you don't go there. But if you do NOT have a foot fetish, like me, nothing sexual about feet really, then just keep it professional and pretend you're a professional masseuse. I've massaged female friends' feet before and it's more of a chore than a turn on. Girlfriends ask me to do it and I do it just to be nice to them, but in no way did it make me sexually AROUSEd!

I can understand it being awkward because any sort of massage can be sensual, and she's not your blood daughter and in fact a teenage version of your wife, who you are sexually attracted to. So it's perfectly normal to have that primal relation and understand your caution. MOst people who answer your question will be immature or completely radical, probably due to childhood sexual abuse themselves. Which is understandable. In a way, it's very good that you are AWARE that it could be misconstrued as inappropriate. My dad would have some beers and feel my sister up and he never talked about it or worried about it ever. So at least you're being thoughtful.

SO.... if feet sexually arouse you, then no, just don't even go there. Pretend you are too lazy to do it, or just say that foot massages are for her mother only, and joke around.
If it doesn't arouse you at all, then I'd just say "you really need a foot massage, fine I'll give you a foot massage, then joke around that she shouldn't make it a habit because you're not her servant or personal masseuse. And just be professional and if there are any signs that SHE is flirting or is somehow aroused, then again, don't go there. But massages amongst family members isn't weird, it's only pervs out there who make it an issue. Really you can make ANYthing sexual if you really want to.

ALSO, maybe even ask your wife, "is it weird to you if I give your daughter a foot massage?" see if she thinks it's weird. If no issue, and no arousal on both sides, then it's a bonding experience.

UPDATE:
OK, well you seem to have a great relationship! So basically, you are worried about if she is aroused from it. In my own opinion, I think all hormonal teenagers of either sex are going to get aroused from just the wind blowing (or is that just boys?). And if it helps her feel more confident about her own feet, and she really has sore feet, then just do it for a little bit and pretend you're her older brother. Honestly, I would never massage my sister's feet, ew.

Just keep it light and professional, and if she looks weird or says something flirty then you say "hey now, don't make this weird, do you want your feet massaged or not, cuz I'll stop", just be open with her. Sometimes I wonder how people survive and coexist with so much stuff bottled up and being paranoid or shy to talk about things. You don't have to say "hey, stop acting weird because I feel like you're coming on to me" because really that would just be an opinion, I would just be like "stop acting weird".

BUT then again, if you really feel so uncomfortable about it then you don't HAVE to massage her feet.... if she plops them up, you can say like "heey, nice feet, you should be a foot model", which boosts her confidence and then tell her to get her feet off you But to answer your question, no, nothing wrong with massaging your step daughter's feet if she really needs one. It's not like she's just relaxing, listening to music, candles lit and she wants you to massage her feet for pleasure only. Her feet are sore! She's in physical training! Masseuses aren't prostitutes! There's a real life, respectable occupation out there called "physical therapy/masseuse".

People out there are saying "oooh how long have you known her.... how old is she...." etc etc. Who cares?? Why do people make a foot massage into something perverse?! It's not! Even guy buddies will get each other pumped up like in baseball or something and come along and give the old man massage and give some words of encouragement. If anybody else thinks that it's perverse then maybe THEY have some mental problems or past trauma from child abuse, but it's their problem, not yours.

It's like that whole nipple thing on the super bowl years ago. Half second flash, nobody noticed except a few, and no big deal, but they had to go and make it a big deal. Number of children adversely affected by a nipple flash that they probably couldn't even identify? ZERO. How many CBS employees probably got fired, and they're whole life was affected or ruined because of those radicals yelling for censorship and how their children are perversely corrupted (which is BS)? Who knows, maybe a few at least.

 

[Jesus]

flirting with her step dad.... nothing completely WEIRD and DISGUSTING about that.


WTF?!?!?!?!

 

[Betty]

If you say that you're trying to do it in a helpful way then why would yo even think if it is appropriate or not? I think that you should just ask her and do it, there's nothing wrong with that...don't worry too much about it

 

[tinyavenger]

If she is flirting, rubbing her feet would only give her the wrong idea. However, I think you are asking youself the wrong question here. How do you think your wife, her mother, would feel if she walked in to see you sitting on the couch rubbing her daughters feet? Particularly if her daughter possibly openly flirts with you? (Not saying that she would think you are trying anything super pervy. I just think she may possibly find it a little inappropriate)
In my opinion, the fact that you are even questioning if this is acceptable to do means you shouldn't even worry about it. If you want to show her you care and are proud of her going out for track even though is may be taking a toll on her feet, get her a nice gift of one of the foot massaging baths (you can get a real nice one for $40-50) from you and her mom.

 

[horsinround2do]

How old is she? Old enough to flirt, judging by your post, in which case, you want to be as proper as possible. Best to keep your hands, eyes, etc., to yourself.