First thing, if you don't know the secret handshake you won't get anywhere with any of the girls. To initiate the shake, say "slinky" in a loud audible voice. Then lift your right leg off the ground, start patting the top of your head with your right hand and reach your left hand out as you hop towards her on your left leg...
But seriously, when she comes in introduce yourself and make a little small talk. Come across as a sane genuine person who's going to respect her boundaries, not an entitled shady douche. DO NOT mention reviews or review boards. Once she's had that opportunity to get a bit of a read on you, this is the time I like to talk about the session. That way there's no questions looming until 'the flip', and we can both relax into the session.
If I'm going in looking for extras I generally start by asking if we can skip the massage. This will give you a good indication of whether or not she's up for extras and you won't waste any fun time on a massage. Then, it's as simple as telling her what you're after - BJ, Russian, FS, DATY etc. (don't use acronyms when talking to her) and she'll let you know if that's cool. If she says no don't push it, and it's generally a bad idea to haggle when she tells you her price. You may save a few bucks (chances are better you won't) but the service and mood will suffer, not worth it IMO. You can always turn down the service if it's too steep of a price. Ongoing communication is key, if you like something a certain way let her know, most girls take direction well. I see many guys complaining and I always want to ask, "did you tell her you don't like that, or you like it a different way?" You can't expect her to know exactly what floats your boat if you don't talk to her.