Client can't relax - help!

[Dude]

Okayso.

I'm still in basic training, starting to get 1-hour and 1.5-hour full-body massages going for practice. My boyfriend is one of my main guinea pigs.

Last weekend, he volunteered for a 1.5 hour massage, so I set up a quiet area in the front of his house, put music on, started him prone since I know he carries a ton of upper back tension. Halfway through the massage I ask him to turn over and start on supine work, and I notice that his brow is furrowed. Check with him to make sure everything's okay, are you cold/warm, can I change the pressure, is this uncomfortable? He says no, no, it's fine... So I work around to his neck/face, and try to undo some tension in his brow, and get his neck hitches out...

After the massage he tells me that having a massage is the worst thing for him since he can't stop his mind from racing It does kinda make sense, given that he has a looot going on in his life, and whenever he wants to get away from it, he does something very fast-paced and attention-consuming to get his mind off of his troubles, i.e. computer games, fast paced sports, etc.

He said that he still wants to be there for me to practice on, but the last thing I want is for him to lie there in mindrace mode for 1.5 hours! Any suggestions on helping him to let go? I know that he has never gone to get any professional massages before, maybe it's a matter of getting used to having bodywork done? :? I hope it's not my technique - to my credit, though, my three other guinea pigs have knocked out in less than 15 minutes of me starting work on them....

My instructor mentioned that because we're in a relationship, the dynamic might be different for him, though in general I can note that my boyfriend is a very logic-based, get-stuff-done kinda guy. He is a go-getter, and when he's not actively gogetting, he's actively GOOGOGOGOGOforgetting. :shock:

eek!

 

[This is NOT a Brothel]

very short sessions, very vigorous work. I know exactly what he is saying. When I have a 90 minute session, by the time it is done, I'm feeling like I want to hurtle off the table like a rocket.

This is the perfect opportunity for you to practice your 30 minute sessions on him, doing all of those neat stretching/range of motion/tapotement and tonifying techniques you will be learning. Not to say you should set a frantic pace, but you could use a quicker one, with a few long, firm strokes on each part, with rocking and shaking as part of the routine, etc.

My mind races the most in a massage when the therapist goes slow or is very still. I end up way more tense at the end.

 

[sajeesh E.R.]

Rocking and having him do some simple breathing exercises can help also.

But yes, I agree with Breathe, that he might not do well with the extended sessions. Maybe once he has had a few shorter ones he will do better with the longer ones.

 

[Im a girl]

I love long massages, but I have found that relaxing is difficult for me. My muscles are working very hard all the time to keep me operating at a certain level emotionally and relaxing/letting someone manipulate my body is sometimes threatening to me emotionally.

It sounds like this client turns to stimulation in times of stress in order to "not feel" the emotions associated with it and so relaxing to feel all those emotions that those bound up muscles are working very hard to protect him from could be very uncomfortable on a nonphysical level.

I don't mind long sessions, but I really like it when I have something to focus on. Like my trigger points. I love having those "zinging" muscles worked on as the main focus...holding those "yowza" points with a bit of friction mixed in.....with the flowing effleurage thrown in to make nice and move on. I have tons of those points that could easily fill 1.5 hours and I'd love to be on the table for that, but a 1.5 hour massage of someone trying to put me to sleep is not going to work.

 

[t j]

I'd like to suggest long deep work on the paraspinals from the sacrum up toward the neck, preferrably using the forearm/elbow. Each side, and roughly 15 strokes. Determined, skilled, penetrating strokes. It may or may not help, but I find it helps the "mind racers" give some of that up, at least for a few moments. 8)

 

[Doctor Watson]

Thinking

Try giving him something to think about. At times, I will give my clients a meditation to 'concentrate' on. I have them look at a white wall (with their eyes closed of course). I tell them that there is a dot on it, and theyneed to keep an eye on the dot to make sure it doesn't move.

The key is to have him concentrate on something so his regular problems do not come to mind. If they do center him back on the task you gave him.